Robert Pattinson probably thinks Kim Kardashian's bottom is a miracle

Tweet

I'm beginning to think that every time I'm going to read an interview with Robert Pattinson I'm expecting to have a good laugh and, like the fly that gets caught in the spider's net, I'm going to close the magazine and think "Isn't he just adorable?..." Actually I think there should be a psychological preparation by the interviewers, some sort of mind control game, that could block Robert Pattinson's awkwardness and goofiness that, suddenly make him an adorable guy. That said, let me tell you about some highlights of his interview to Elle magazine. 

Apparently, Robert Pattinson thinks that in 15 years the Paparazzi are long gone with only one specimen remaining that he can easily annihilate:

ELLE:  Have you ever fantasized about doing something to destroy the “Twilight image” of you?
RP: You know, when the whole thing dries up and there’s hardly any paparazzi around—I don’t know, in 15 years or something—I like the idea of just one paparazzo coming out and trying to get a picture, and I just beat the shit out of him. I mean—out of nowhere—when my picture’s not even worth…and I’ve spent all my money, so you can’t sue me!

I'm sorry to be the one breaking the news here, Rob. This ain't gonna happen. Beginning in "when the whole thing dries up" untill "...so you can't sue me"

He also says he's the worst driver. But not like this. He says it in a way you just want to jump right into the front seat... because he's adorable. Block, block!
Check it out:

ELLE:  Have you had many near-death experiences?
RP: Yes, loads. I am the worst driver in the world. Every time I get in a car, I call up my parents and say goodbye.

Awwwhhhhh....

I could hit you with a bunch of those. All from this interview. But, by now, you're thinking what the hell Kim Kardashian has to do with this. Well, probably she would be that remaining paparazzo trying to survive in a world where paparazzi would no longer cat fight for one picture of her round ass. But this is not the case. This time the interviewer was a man, so he would find a clever way to make Robert Pattinson talk about female butts...

ELLE: Here’s a line from Maupassant: “The essence of life is the smile of round female bottoms, under the shadow of cosmic boredom.” Any thoughts?
RP:  That is an absolutely true quote. Round female bottoms are very much a miracle.

And who's got the rounder and bigger of them all? Kim Kardashian! And I'm sure she would provide the shadow too. But I'm guessing who could be the shadow of cosmic boredom in your life, Rob...